Reframing Mindset Around Habits
October 8, 2022
This is a short excerpt to the 70-Day Rhythm Reboot: the workshop all about finding and sticking to habits long-term. To join Rhythm Reboot for more content like this, head to Resources.
Today’s where it starts to get real, with really focusing on your habits to start. You’re not alone if that sounds daunting, boring, or limiting to your days. As someone who very much claims chaotic energy in my life, I’ve learned time and time again that the key to being less stress in my life is structure.
Reframing how you think about rhythms and discipline is KEY to success in routine. Without the right mindset around your “Why,” it will be very easy to slip out of routine. Think back to your 70-day goals (and beyond), of who you’re wanting to become. Keep that at the forefront of your mind as we step into this new part of rhythm.
But, hear me out: we’re not relying on motivation to keep us going. Motivation fails when your bed is cozy when your alarm clock goes off. The thing that will keep you consistent? The discipline to follow through with what you say you’re going to do. And if I’m being honest, I know for myself, that can sound much said than done.
How do I get to the place where I’m consistent and disciplined, when I haven’t been consistent like that in a long time? Here are 5 ways to become more disciplined.
Start by identifying your struggle points.
If you’re in the Rhythm Reboot, you know that the first part of the challenge is exactly this. Before we can move on to building better habits, you have to identify what your road blocks are to begin with. For myself, I know that my long-term goal is to re-establish a morning routine that includes working out and reading before my baby wakes up. Why have I not been following through with that until now? Think back to the root of your struggles. For myself, a lot of my problem was coming down to waking up tired, which led me to evaluating how I end my nights, when I go to sleep, and my sleep conditions. Do you need a new pillow to get deeper sleep? Is your phone keeping you up because you’re scrolling? Is your bed time not realistic for wanting to wake up earlier (without feeling so drowsy)? These are some questions I asked myself and started to switch before moving on to establishing something new.
On that same point, it’s important to take the barriers out of the way. Meaning, make the habit something that has the least amount of blockers possible. If you know it’s going to be hard to wake up at 6 AM to workout, set yourself up for success. Put your clothes out the night before, write down what your workout set will be, set your bag out in an easy spot to get in the car and go. One other way to make it easy on yourself is by writing down your habits. Don’t wake up one day and expect yourself to remember each habit you want to keep, put it where you can see it. Write a sticky note on your bathroom mirror, put your habit list on your phone background, and set reminders. Take the guessing and pressure to remember out of the process.
Change how you think about habits.
When your alarm first goes off, and you think “I’m too tired,” it’s our natural instinct to stay in bed. Of course you’re still tired, you haven’t even gotten up! A key factor researchers have found to following through with habits, is your mindset around it. The amount of times you tell yourself you can’t do something, you’ll start to believe it. A point Hal Elrod makes in the book Miracle Morning, is that many times, we self-sabotage our plans from our mindset. He shares how if you’ve gotten 8 hours of sleep and still wake up convinced you’re tired, you’re likely going to feel tired because you told your body to feel that way. The reality is, we have the willpower to push through those instinctual negative feelings to tell ourselves we’re choosing to do something for our good. And shocker, after 10 minutes of being awake, a lot of times you’ll start to feel awake.
Remember why you’re doing this to begin with. Like I was saying at the beginning, it comes down to discipline to following through to stay consistent, but starting with motivation of why you want to do something always helps, too. It takes practice to get past that initial dread of starting — whether that’s waking up early, starting the run, or meal prepping for better food choices — to really get to the part of following through for yourself. Remembering your long-term goal as you step into a new season of habits is a great way to get past that negative self-talk you may have around the habits you want to start. Remember, our mind will do anything to resist change, because it’s comfortable. So don’t be surprised when you feel that internally tug away from following through, it just comes down to retraining your brain a little bit.
Changing isn’t a chore in your life, it brings you closer to the person you want to become. I’ll end with this quote by James Clear: “Habits do not restrict freedom. They create it. In fact, the people who don’t have their habits handled are often the ones with the least amount of freedom. Without good financial habits, you will always be struggling for the next dollar. Without good health habits, you will always seem to be short on energy. Without good learning habits, you will always feel like you’re behind the curve. If you’re always being forced to make decisions about simple tasks—when should I work out, where do I go to write, when do I pay the bills—then you have less time for freedom. It’s only by making the fundamentals of life easier that you can create the mental space needed for free thinking and creativity.”
Start small.
When it comes to retraining your brain, it’s important to not just wake up one day and expect yourself to follow through with a 2 hour set of new habits that are starting out of nowhere. There’s a reason so much research points to starting small — it’s more sustainable to set building blocks to grow from. So once you get past your downfalls and you can start to build towards something positive, pick a Rhythmic Cue to implement into your days.
What is a Rhythmic cue? It’s a micro-habit that you put at the beginning of what your goal habit is that makes it easier to follow through with the rest of your habits. Let me explain…
Twyla Tharp calls these “rituals”. When her goal was to work out every day, she didn’t put that on her habit list, instead, her ritual was to get in the car to head to the gym each morning. Before she could even think about it, she was already on her way to the gym, and the idea of working out feels less daunting and a lot easier to partake in once your cue has you halfway there! The point of these is to be able to trick your brain into feeling like you just need to do this one small thing, and it leads you closer to the rest of your habits. At the point of her being in the car, she might as well do the workout! Rhythmic cues lead you to the habit you want to create.
During Phase 2 [of Rhythm Reboot], focus on the rhythmic cues for each of your top 3 categories. Make your rhythmic cue…
- Putting your workout clothes on at 6:30 AM, if your goal is to work out 5x a week.
Sitting in your reading nook at the same time each night, if your goal is to read more books each month. - Put your phone on Do Not Disturb at 11 AM each day, if your goal is to be more efficient when you’re working.
- Drink your sleepy time tea at 9 PM, if your goal is to wind down earlier in the night.
Meal prep on Sundays, if your goal is to eat healthier (and/or eat out less).
Did you notice anything else about those goals? They’re time/day specific.
According to James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, “Research has shown that you are 2x to 3x more likely to stick with your habits if you make a specific plan for when, where, and how you will perform the behavior….”
When you start to write out your goals, make them specific, simple, and rhythmic cues that lead you to your bigger goals. Try just adding a Rhythmic Cue to your lineup of each day and watch how you slowly start seeing yourself more consistent with the big habits you want to have each day.
Make your habits rewarding.
Sometimes you need to use a little positive reinforcement to inspire change, and nothing is wrong with that! For me, I’ve been rewarding my Rhythmic Cue (mine has been taking a cold shower after waking up at 6 AM) with a 5 minute scroll sesh. Some people like to use coffee or chocolate to inspire them, especially when it comes to waking up earlier, but for me, that’s not enough. Even though I’m not the biggest fan of screen time when I wake up, I realize from the research that as long as the good outweighs, and it doesn’t take away from your habits you’re trying to implement, no harm done. Once my timer ends, it’s time to put my workout shoes on. At the point of me having taken a cold shower and stimulated my brain a little bit, I usually feel plenty awake at that point to actually think as I move towards the part of my day that I want to implement: a morning reading and workout time.
And, honestly, finishing most positive habits also has such a positive impact on our internal dialogue, that reward does become enticing enough to keep us going — you just have to START to begin seeing those changes. When I finish my workout, I feel set up for the day. When I eat healthier food, I feel physically better. When I wind down earlier in the evening, I sleep better. When I keep myself focused on a task, I don’t feel stress. Those may inspire continuation in habits, but using a reward for following through with starting a habit isn’t a bad thing, either!
Here’s more on rewarding yourself.
Don’t skip days (unless you have to).
It’s fair to say that some days aren’t going to look like the rest. You may get sick one day, or be out of town, preventing you from following through with your habits. It happens. When it does, it’s important to have a back up plan so you don’t fall out of habit and find yourself back at square one.
If your habits include getting up early in the morning, working out, or something of that sorts, make a simplified version of that routine for when your day looks different. If you end up sleeping in for whatever reason, make your plan to take a walk that day. If you’re on a business trip, commit to a 10-minute stretch or reading session, depending on whatever your habit is. Make a simple version of the routine to keep up with. And whatever you do, don’t miss two days in a row.
Seasons will come and go, but keeping habit in place, even to a small degree, is what differentiates us between staying disciplined or falling out of habit. Creating a back up plan prevents us from feeling that “out of rhythm” sense, even when we’re out of our normal daily plan.
At the end of the day, it is up to us to decide it’s worth it to make changes in our lives. We’re the only ones that get us out of bed, set the alarms, and make the mealplan. Using the tools in our toolbox (like these 5 steps) to make it easier on ourselves to get to a place of being disciplined, helps simplify it for ourselves along the way.
(Also something worth noting: it’s okay if your habits or routines change depending on season of life. Let’s say if you’re very pregnant or post-partum, it is SO okay to have a routine that doesn’t look the same as it did pre-pregnancy. It’s life! Each season comes with different priorities. Be realistic with yourself in each season, and have grace on yourself when your current season doesn’t look the same as before. It’s not worth it to run yourself thin.)
I encourage you, decide reasonable habits that will challenge you each day to get you closer to the person you want to be. It may be hard to get out of your comfort zone at first, but the you a few months from now will thank you. 🙂 For more help on building habits, join the 70-Day Rhythm Reboot.
